SHE WITH THE BAJU KURUNG

Yes, another note about love.

Despite i'm going out with few 'candidates' or various effort from friends to introduce me to 'The candidates', i find it is very hard for me to venture to the world of companion and relationship, for next few months.

For now, the after-effect from previous relationship still wont heal effectively. I don't think finding another girl (for this time) is a good solution for it. Furthermore, it is hard for me to open my heart for anyone right now.

I imagine if, i settle with some girl today, i would not give her 'my 100%' percent concentration' for her. My mind still, at some point thinking about Natinski. I had to admit that.

Yes, maybe infront of my friends i would said that i'm ready for next chapter. Truth is, her shadow is still with me. I think it is unfair for any woman that i meet now.

I give a lift for one girl last night. She sitting beside me wearing baju kurung. I kept imagining that is Natinski who sit there. My memories of her with baju kurung, sitting quitely, staring at me and i just cruising along KL roads suddenly came back to me.

That tells me that i'm not ready for anyone.

Yet.

MAYBE I'M LOOKING AT A WRONG MARKET part 2

I spent around 30 minutes with "ms T". One of my used-to-be-closest friends.

Ms T said to me that she doesn't trust men anymore. Well, it is not the first time she utter that 'everloving' words. Popular choice of words for independent woman nowadays. Woman who shout equal rights. She said that all men are untrustworthy and of course, all of them inherit same attitude.

I don't blame her.

After all, she had six previous disastrous relationship. She commit with six born-to-be jerk. Even i had to agree with that. I even didn't get along, no, hate her last companion (or boyfriend).

Then again, Ms T come up to me, like zillion others woman who scream how difficult to find a good man as a companion (i mean boyfriend).

Agree, all six of them are jerk.

But saying 'all men are useless" doesn't give any justice or rather not actually accurate terms to apply.

All six jerks does inherit some sort of same quality which lead to relationship catasrophe. Like me, she also usually fell with same type of men.

Couple of years ago, i tried to match her with other my fellow bachelor who i think (at least) that will make her happy. Yes, that particular man do not have many traits that she wants. But i know 'that man' is different from any that six jerks.

She rejected my proposal without even trying for one date.

That when she just broke up with her fourth jerk.

Now she coming back to me and tell the same o' story. Oh, by the way, 'that man' now quite living a time of his life with his fiancee.

"Why it is hard to find a good man" asked Ms T again. I give a blank stare.

I remember saying to my friend, Amir Mukhriz, that he is a rare breed of man nowadays. Soft-spoken, career-man, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, religious etc etc.

This is Amir's answer:

"It's rare for Fazura maybe, who looking her spouse at disco, night-club, party etc etc.

Go ask a Ustazah, she will said that there's a zillion men who zillion times better than me around her."

It's depend on the girl actually.

But then, i don't think Ms T would want Ustaz for husband. She admited to me that Ustaz makes her feel "eyyy, geli".

well, i hope all the best for Ms T.