AMUSING LIFE

Went to MUSE last night despite trying not to went there.

After Muse, i've made my own conclusion that is, i'm too old for concert now. I prefer to stay at home and enjoyed few series of Arrested Development.

Typically, there's lot of "hot or trying to be hot chick" around the stadium Negara. Surprisingly, their presence seems doesn't bother me at all. Can't really tell you why, but my taste of having these chicks as eye candy seems die recently. Not that i'm not interested in girls anymore, it just, i'm not interested to them now. Err...that doesn't sound right, is it?

And suddenly i was thinking of my ex. Yes, Miss Natinski. I guess i'm not suppose to wrote here. Maybe i'm not suppose to reveal it. While i assume she already get over me and move along with another candidate, i'm still not sure if i'm ready for next one. Perhaps not for this few months. I just don't want to get hurt, at least for now.

The concert reminds me of her. The good and the bad times.

But what to do, it's not like i have the ultimate power to fullfill all my needs.

Like my fellow friends used to say to me, i'm a lucky guy in few angle of life. I got a dream job, a quite happy family, i finally published a novel. But i guess there's a price to pay for that. My love life downright miserable.

Then i wonder, if i would have a chance to pick between dream job and love life, which one i would choose?

Such dilemma.

Oh, did i suppose to write about MUSE?


Note: I wonder where is Kartika? You don't want to comment my English anymore? I really appreciate your effort.

COMPANION

My friend asked me to find a companion. Which means, find a girl (or many girls - depend on your flirting ability) which you and her doesn't commit any deep relationship. Both of us just wanted to be together because don't want to be alone. So there's no serious attachment, thus no heart will be broken. Obviously no talk about marriage.

At first, i think that actually not a bad idea at all. In fact, it kinda great.

But come again, no. I still believe romantic affair is still out there for me to grab.

Dangerous things about this companion thingy is, one of us might end up Do grow some feelings towards his/her partner. It might be mutual, or might not.

Even so, i didn't think 'companionship' is a right answer for me.

For this moment, i would like to stay like this. I really don't want another female come and crush my heart twice in 2007.

Again, perhaps yes, maybe not.

Do you want to be my companion after all?

HOLIDAYS AND BEYOND IT

Yeap, happy holidays everyone (unlikely since i doubt no one would read this blog anyway).

I'm off for another misadventure up to north side of Malaysia. Might stumbles upon some interesting stuff.

Maybe if you'll be nice to, i'm kind enough to tell you my journey.

Well then, till next time. See ya.

Have a nice holidays.

DON'T KNOW

I want to write something today.

But there's no cool things happend to me today.

Ummm, i can write about last night,

But... no.

Keep it to myself.

Hohoho...

CATS

My mom tell a few stories about cats.

I love cats. I always do.

I always believe cats heals all the suffering i had (including stress at work, life, relationship yadda yadda). When i touch the ever comfort fur, heard the purring and staring at those cute eyes, sudden, somehow it gives me strenght to live this life.

I adore cats. It can be gentle as silk and then as fierce as thunderstorm (errr...haha, bad metaphor - but i think you get what i'm trying to say).

Oh, did i told you about my mom who told a few stories about cats.

Yeah, all those stories does ease my pain.

I wish all cats gone to heaven.

I USED TO LOVE HER

I used to love her.

No, i'm not talking about my recent break-up (yes, technically i also 'used' to love her, but no, i'm not writing about that devil right now).

First time i saw her when she's wearing red baju kurung, walk in front of us to meet her friend (which also my friend). Not actually 'fell in love' during that time, but i find her face quite attractive. She don't remember that i sat in front of her, of course, who did? But i do remember her.

I'm not seeing her for quite some times. Then, my friend manage to introduce her to me, properly. At uptown. She's wearing black long sleeves t-shirt. She had her hair short, her smile and her laugh. Then i fell in love.

And i used to love her.

I come to a terms that it is impossible to win her heart. Then, slowly and quite painfully, i manage to forget how her face used to be in my mind for the whole weeks. I never told her the truth actually, that, once upon a time, she was my beautiful angel that light my darkest life. I put that feelings away rather than losing a nice and unique friendship with her.

The recent break-ups with my...ehemm, you-know-who brings us to __________. Along with mamak's teh o ais, we had quite heavy chat about 1- The break-ups and 2- her heart.

After a few hours listening to her, i've discover how her heart tightly shut for any men to enter. She had her reasons and we had a few argument. But after a while, i deeply understand why she choose to cut herself away from any men who came to her. She doesn't want to hurt anyone. More importantly, she doesn't want to get hurt.

Spending time with her, i see a happy go lucky lady, who manage to smile in any occasion. Despite 'single' status, she manage to live, if i may speak, happier than me. In some weird ways, she's a very interesting and special woman i ever know.

If i'm going to write a fiction based on my life, it is not all my ex's that played major character in it. It is her. Of course, there will be my future queen and err...perhaps Elyana on atop of my heart.

She definitely had her place in my fiction. A very significant role. A role worth remembered.

And i wish that she will find her long-lost love one day, if not so soon.

Or at least find her own happiness, as i will watch from such distance, and smiling gladly to her.

Thank You ms _ _ _ _ for accidentally bringing colours into my life.

ONE NOT SO LONELY NIGHT

Meanwhile, somewhere in KL...

I can say it's almost magical.

Actually if i want to tell you the story on how i end up talking to her, then i need a whole new entry, with a whole new feelings blended into it.

And i end up told her on how i always fell to an evil woman (or girl, depend what AGE that particular creature is).

After a few words about my all my evil ex's, she's chuckles. Gave me one of those weird staring, with a smile. As if my sad, melancholic yet true story (hahaha) doesn't looks at it may sound.

"If you know me for quite sometimes, all your ex's will looks like nun, an amateur and you end up loving them more than you expected"

I gave her brief smile, nodding.

After a few puff, i got her number.

And i wonder if i'm prepared to fall to another devil for one more time.

Or as she put it; "both of us will have a long journey towards doom, it's all already written"

Hmmmm, well, at least she's got pair of nicely-crafted (by god, it is) boobs.

GOD

Okey, here's another cliche,

People usually went back to god ONLY when he or she faced difficulties in life.

But often also others will mocked him or her by saying "sudah terantuk baru mahu jumpa tuhan?"

But, it's that good compared to others who had also difficulties in life but choose to destroy his or her body instead like taking pills, drugs, ganja, alcohol or whatever? At least he or she know his or her faith.

No, i'm not entirely judging those people. I just merely suggesting a better way.

Every single life in this world had their own problem, how do you know yours worst than mine or that makcik selling nasi lemak or a handsome man who married to a beautiful wife or a teacher?

After all the difficulties, i still believe only god can save our soul no matter how preachy it may sound. Or maybe people just wanted to blame god (or act towards it) to ease his or her pain.

Or people just stubborn...

Thank you

SHE BROKE MY HEART

Yes, as cliche as it can be.

She broke my heart. My relationship failed and most of the part i'm blaming myslef and most others it's her fault, no doubt.

Do i love her?

I do.

Do she love me?

I doubt it.

Thus, what else can i do? While i'm still crying here and there, she's might live life to the fullest and maybe happier without me.

Then what's the point for me to grief?

I already suffered with her now do you expect me to suffer without her?

Don't think so bebeh.

Till then, i might put something cheerful next time.

till then, take a good care all of ya'!